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By Testimony,
One evening, during prayer, I said to Jesus: “Perhaps I’ve been praying uselessly for my healing over the years, perhaps I should start praying for more important intentions”.
As a child, I miraculously escaped death several times. My mother literally ran out the door of the doctor’s surgery where the so-called ‘procedure’ was supposed to take place. That word, so often used today, simply means the murder of an unborn child. Thanks to God’s protection, I was born a strong and healthy baby. When I was just a few years old, a barn door weighing several hundred pounds fell on me, and I escaped miraculously by squeezing into a narrow ditch, which was the only empty space under the wood. Another time, I was struck by a carriage driven by a drunken man and trampled by the horse. I ended up in hospital, but I recovered completely after several weeks. I write all this to point out that God had some plan for my life that He wanted to implement and I was always falling into a variety of dangers through not managing to cooperate with Him, or perhaps I didn’t know how to do it. Then came my teen years — a time that I’m not proud of. I would increasingly hang out with a bad crowd and go to parties where alcohol was served. I also started spending more and more time going out with friends for a beer, even though my heart held a longing and love for Christ. One day, my friends and I were drinking wine in a park. We ran out of money and one of the guys in the group suggested that we rob the bakery. I didn’t oppose them, but on the way there, I dropped a long way behind, and suddenly, instead of going with my friends, I went to a church. I had a bottle of wine hidden under my jacket, and my head was spinning, but I decided I could manage to stay to the end of mass. While I was in church, my friends were robbing the bakery. The next day, they were caught, and they ended up spending two years in prison. After a time, I left my home town to start a new life with my wife and kids. Things were going pretty well for us until the time we were burgled. The thief took everything except the furniture and some old clothing. I felt a powerful resentment in my heart, and wanted revenge against the man who had done this. After a while, I found out who it was, and I was in a position to settle accounts, but something deep in my heart told me “Don’t do it!” I was struggling with my thoughts, but finally one evening in prayer, I gave the matter up to Jesus and asked Him to give me the strength to forgive the person.
After a couple of days, my life started to change. The desire for revenge left my heart, and from then on I had no further problems providing for my family. I had a lot of work. I was selling a lot of merchandise and was having good luck. It was then that I fell ill. I suffered pain like I had never experienced before, and I had no idea that one could go through that kind of pain and not die. Beyond the pain in my head, spine and joints, a huge anxiety was welling up inside me, which after a while developed into a neurosis. The doctors had no idea what to do. They couldn’t diagnose the cause of the illness and several times suggested that I was faking or that I needed psychiatric more than medical help. It was hard for me to deal with; at times, the pain was unbearable. Several times, I nearly passed out, and I was sure that I was going to die. But through it all, somewhere deep in my heart, I was sure that God was watching over me, and that He had a different plan for me — a plan that would involve something wonderful. After ten years of struggling with the disease — during which I had better and worse moments — something happened which I attribute to divine providence. During that period, I had frequent contact with a particular man involved in my work. When he looked at me, he determined that I had the look of an acromegaly victim. I had no idea what he was talking about, but the symptoms of the disease which he listed were identical to what I was suffering. At that point, a new phase in my illness began — the battle against an expanding brain tumour. In the first operation, the doctors removed half my brain, and for half a year the symptoms and the pain decreased in intensity. But then everything started again: pain and suffering were my normal state. Over the years of the physical torment, I grew closer to Jesus. I prayed more and I tried to be His friend and have a personal relationship with Him. The suffering became an opportunity for personal growth, and I tried to thank God for it. I offered up my difficulties for various intentions and I was convinced that my suffering was a way to make amends for the time of my youth, which, as I mentioned, wasn’t something to be proud of. The suffering shaped me and taught me sensitivity and patience. At some point, I accepted it and learned to live with it as much as possible. One evening, during prayer, I said to Jesus: “Perhaps I’ve been praying uselessly for my healing over the years, perhaps I should start praying for more important intentions”. And then, for the first time, I heard a very loud inner voice: “If you started then finish, but after each prayer add: ‘Lord, not my will, but Thy will be done’”.
A few weeks later, I came up with an idea which wouldn’t stop nagging me. I wanted to show Jesus that I wasn’t praying just for healing, but that I was trying to lead a healthy life, and that I could handle the commitment. At exactly the same time, I found out about the Daniel fast. My wife and I committed ourselves to attending a two-week Daniel fast; that is to say, a fruit and vegetable diet. It was a huge challenge for me, since fasting was never my strong point. At the retreat house where we went for the fast, there was attention to our spiritual health as well as our physical health. There was a prayer community there, led by Father Witko from Cracow. They led prayers for the outpouring of the Holy Spirit, as well as intercessory and healing prayers. At that time, I already had highly developed claustrophobia. I couldn’t stand to be in a crowd, a traffic jam, a lift or any other enclosed space. At any moment, I might start feeling stifled, as well as great pain in my chest. I write about this because it was always my habit to go to the chapel after dinner for my personal prayer. One day, I went to pray as usual, but when I opened the door, I was surprised to find that there was a large crowd of people. Then I was surprised by my own behaviour, as I simply made my way through the crowd to the front pew. I was surrounded many people, and I realised that it wouldn’t be easy to get out. But the feelings of anxiety stopped, and inside I felt that I was supposed to be there. During the prayer for the outpouring of the Holy Spirit, I had a feeling that He had, in fact, come to me. I was overjoyed! At one point, the priest said: “Now the Lord Jesus is healing a man of pain in his head, illness in his spine, and pain in his joints. Now your soul will be healed.” When I heard the first words, I felt a kind of tearing power. I had my hands stretched out high, and I exhaled very loudly. Something was happening inside me that I can’t put into words. I felt like I was filled with such a great strength that I could hardly remain standing. When I left the chapel, I was a new man – not only physically, but above all spiritually. I felt such a great love for Jesus that if I had been called upon at that moment to give my life for my worst enemy, I would have done it joyfully. After a while, I went through more testing, and it showed that all that remained of the brain tumours were the scars from the surgery. The advanced osteoporosis had simply disappeared. The doctor decided that these couldn’t be my results, that there must be some mistake. It was then that I also realised that the healing of my body was just a prelude to the real healing, which was the healing of my soul. God’s Mercy filled me completely, and my family relationships improved.Jesusbecame real, present, and living with me and my family every day. Now I try to practise the words of St Paul in my daily life: “Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air. No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize” (1 Cor. 9:25–27); and “Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else. Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus”. (1 Thess. 5:15–18). Kazimierz Source: https://loamagazine.org/archive/2015/2015-33/with-god-all-things-are-possible The above article was published with permission from Miłujcie się! in September 2020.
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