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I tell you, my friends, don't be afraid of those who kill the body, and after that have no more that they can do.                But I will warn you whom you should fear. Fear him, who after he has killed, has power to cast into Gehenna. Yes, I tell you, fear him.                Aren't five sparrows sold for two assaria coins? Not one of them is forgotten by God.                But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Therefore don't be afraid. You are of more value than many sparrows.                I tell you, everyone who confesses me before men, him will the Son of Man also confess before the angels of God;                but he who denies me in the presence of men will be denied in the presence of the angels of God.               
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I’m not afraid of death
   

By Testimony,
Love One Another! 2017-38
Christian family



Medicine gives me from six weeks to six months of life, even if I decided to undergo treatment. However, we do not agree to any treatment that could harm little Andrzejek.

I’m not afraid of death

My name is Joanna. I’m 36 and for the last 15 years I’ve been happily married to my beloved husband Andrew who is a pillar of faith in our house. We have six children: Asia (8), Paweł (6), Jaś (4), Karol (3), Józef (1) and Andrzejek, who is due to be born at the end of February. Our family also includes my parents-in-law: Henryk and Anna, and brothers-in-law and their families: Ania and Marek with four children, and Marysia and Krzysztof with six children. We have strong spiritual bonds, we all meet together every weekend, and even though it is not always convenient and it’s obviously difficult from a logistics point of view – not to mention the occasional conflicts – we try to mend things with united prayer and conversation. Our children are are the miraculous fruit of intercession by Pope John Paul II. We waited for our offspring for seven years. We knew that we would not use the in vitro method which is not in keeping with our faith and which does not cure infertility. We assumed that parenthood is not something to be taken for granted, but is a grace given to a married couple by God. It was very hard, but ultimately we resolved to offer this suffering for people who choose not to have children and also for those who commit abortion.

We are enjoying a normal, cheerful atmosphere in our home. The children know about it all. People who visit me and often cry, leave joyful

When John Paul II died we turned to him with our problem. A year later, my husband had a dream: he was helping the frail Pope down the stairs, when he asked: “What do you want, my son, in return?” and my husband responded, “You know, Holy Father, that we want to have children …” to which the Pope waved his hand and said: “It’s already been taken care of!” And he asked Andrzej: “Then you pray every day for me with the words ‘santo subito’ – that I would become a saint.” The next day, even before my husband was able to tell me about his dream, I was already convinced, having done a pregnancy test, that I was expecting a baby. Each time when I am expecting another child, I feel very well; my labours are natural and very fast.

Many people react with bewilderment to the news of each new child in our family and some of them happen to “have pity” on us because of this. We don’t need such compassion because this is our choice to accept this grace of God with joy. We also made the same decision after my mastectomy surgery in 2011, when I was diagnosed with pre-invasive cancer. The lesion removal meant full recovery at the time. We knew, however, that there was a risk, because hormones could stimulate cancer cells if some were left around.

Until the day of the Pope’s canonization we prayed every morning and evening, together with our children: “santo subito”. When each of our children were born, we would take them to church to Mass from the very first day after leaving the hospital; we made sure they were baptized promptly, as for us it is a very important sacrament. Our children say their prayers with us from the first days of their lives – first by just being present with us, and then by actively participating: the one-year-olds fold their hands, the toddlers kneel, and as soon as they start talking, we teach them to say prayers and the Chaplet of Divine mercy, which we recite together every day. We all attend Mass, before which we try to read and discuss the daily scripture with them. The children are very open to talking about the Lord Jesus, they pray eagerly not only with us at home, but also in church during Mass.

On 24 October 2014 during an MRI scan I was diagnosed with metastasis of cancer to most of the vertebrae in the spine, to the liver (which gives the worst prognosis) and to the arm bones. My husband was present during the scan (he is a cardiologist, but he also performs MRI) and he told me about it. My first words were, “Just don’t worry.” During the scan, as well as earlier, I suspected something of the sort, because for three months I had been having back problems and paresis of my right leg – progressive and quite painful. I was blessed with such grace from the Lord Jesus that, particularly during the first week and also now, I am able to encourage my loved ones, as well as friends and even strangers. The first night my husband and I spent talking, expressing our concerns and fears and comforting each other. In the morning Andrzej said that he was no longer worried, that I had given him a lot of strength and that we would cope. I knew that it would be a particularly difficult experience for me and a trial whether I accept the will of God. A few weeks before that, when I had already been struggling while walking, our little son Pawełek said: “Mommy, maybe you have the same illness that Job had, when everything is so bad at the moment, but all will be well later.” He helped me a lot with these words and actually, since the diagnosis, I have perceived this as a Job trial. Despite these difficult experiences we are faithful to God and we haven’t stopped loving Him.

Today, over a year since Joanna’s death, we continue to be a happy family. In hindsight, we can see better the many graces we were granted thanks to this experience

On the Friday before All Saints’ Day, at the end of the fifth month of pregnancy, I went through another trial – a very severe one, as I fell on my infirm leg, and the pain that I experienced was horrific and unbearable (in general I’m quite impervious to pain and I rarely take any medications; even labours, though painful, were not comparable with this pain after I fell). And then I also received a great grace: I didn’t rebel, but just asked the Lord Jesus for strength to endure the pain. I offered this suffering for persecuted Christians and for all those suffering more than me. Later I was given pain killers that were safe for the baby in the womb. In the morning I felt much better. Together with my husband we believe that a miracle can happen to us, but we must also be prepared for my death. It even makes it easier to leave everything to the will of God. Medicine gives me from six weeks to six months of life, even if I decided to undergo treatment. However, we do not agree to any treatment that could harm the little Andrzejek. If for this reason I die sooner, at least I’ll have a clear conscience, that I haven’t killed him, by undergoing chemotherapy, and that I acted in accordance with God’s will. I am not afraid of death, although I had been very scared of it in the past. We are enjoying a normal, cheerful atmosphere in our home. The children know about it all. People who visit me and often cry, leave joyful. A lot of people pray for me: US soldiers whose chaplain comes from Poland, religious orders in Siberia and Kamchatka, also missionaries in Tanzania and nuns in Israel. But also in Europe, and especially in Poland. Also, a Mass at the tomb of John Paul II was celebrated twice in my intention. I’m grateful to the Lord God for the goodness of other people and their prayers, and I’m glad because of the “awakening” of so many people. My illness – and if I do not recover, also my death – have a great sense. I would like to ask people who pray for my healing to add the following intentions: premarital purity for young people, true unity in marriages, not rejecting the gift of maternity and paternity, raising children in families in the true faith. I hope that the Blessed Mother will help us. Thank you for all your prayers. God bless you!

Joanna Siniawska

My wife died together with our little son Andrzejek on Sunday of Jesus Christ the King of the Universe, on 23 November 2014. Thanks to her attitude, we were able to receive her death with hope and joy, although with tears of sadness.

Today, over a year since Joanna’s death, we continue to be a happy family. In hindsight, we can see better the many graces we were granted thanks to this experience. Thank you so much for all the prayers which at the time helped our entire family to endure this experience and accept it, surrendering to God’s will. We have experienced a lot of good, caritas love from people we had not known previously.

Andrzej, Joanna, Paweł, Jan, Karol and Józef Siniawscy





Source: https://loamagazine.org/archive/2017/2017-38/im-not-afraid-of-death







The above article was published with permission from Miłujcie się! in April 2021.





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