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When I was still little, I learned unfortunately that, in order to avoid the punishments of my mother, rather severe, lies were perfect: so I began to go with “the father lies”; I formed an alliance with him, and I became such a great liar that, to the measure in which my sins grew, increased also the size of the lies… I knew, for example, that my mother had a great respect for the Lord. For her, the name of the Lord was sacred, it was most holy, so I thought I had the perfect weapon! I used to say to her: “Mom, for beautiful Christ, I swear that I did not do this!” In this way I finally succeeded in avoiding the punishments. With my lies, I put the Most Holy Name of Christ in my rubbish, in my wickedness, in my garbage, filling myself with so much filth and so many sins… I learned that the wind carried them away, and when my mother strongly insisted, I said: “Mom, listen! That a lightning bolt might strike me if what I say is a lie!” These words I used many times… And you see! A lot of time passed, but truly a lightning bolt ended up striking me! And if now I am here, it is only because of the Mercy of God.
One day, my girlfriend Estela said to me:
“But look a bit, you are already 13 years old and you still have not lost your virginity?!“
I looked at her frightened! „How would this be…? What do you mean by this phrase?!“
My mother always spoke to me on the importance of virginity; she said that we are dealing with the ring of Matrimony with the Lord. But my girlfriend, with an air of superiority, said to me:
“My mother, as soon as I began to menstruate, she took me to the gynecologist, and now I take the pill!” I did not even know what it might be, at that time! And so she explained to me what are contraceptive pills to not have a pregnancy, and she added that she already slept with the cousin, with the friend, with this one and that one… An enormous list! She affirmed that it was a very beautiful thing! My friends said to me: “You really do not know anything?” Since I replied no, they promised to bring me to a place where they all had learned. I was worried: I knew where they would have led me! I began to peep into a new world for me; new and completely unknown.
They brought me to a cinema, rather ugly, which was at the center of the city, to see a pornographic film. Just imagine the fright?! A girl of 13 years, which at that time did not even have a television at home! You can imagine how it was to see such a film! I almost died of fright! It seemed to me to be in hell! I would have wanted to flee at full speed, from there… But I did not, for shame before my girlfriends… But I wanted so bad to get out of there, I was very frightened!
On the same day I went to Mass with my mother. I was so frightened, that I wanted to go to confession. She remained before the tabernacle to pray. In the confessional, I said my usual sins: that I had not done my duties at home, at school, that I was disobedient… These were more or less my habitual sins. I always went to the same priest, thus he knew more or less already my faults; but that day, I also said that I went to the cinema hidden to my mother. The priest, surprised, almost shouted: “Hidden from who?! Where did you go?!” Dejected, I looked toward my mother and I saw that she was tranquil, at her place… Fortunately she did not notice anything! Imagine if she had heard…! I got up from the confession, angered with the priest, and naturally I did not say what type of a film I had seen! If only to have said to had gone to the cinema in a hidden way, the priest was so scandalized, imagine if I would had said what I saw, what would he had done to me…! … He would have beat me?!
It was then the beginning of the astuteness of Satan! In fact, from that time, I began to make bad confessions. From then on, I selected what I would say in confession: “This I confess, but not this; this sin I tell the priest, but this other one no!” … My sacrilegious confessions began! I went to receive the Lord knowing that I did not confess everything! I received Him unworthily! The Lord showed me how terrible was the degradation of my soul, as was grave this process of spiritual death… To the point that, at the end of life, I did not believe anymore in the devil, or in anything. He showed me how, in infancy, I walked hand and Hand with God, I had a deep relationship with Him, and the sin did such that I let go, a step at a time, His hand. Now the Lord said to me that, those who eat and drink His Body and His Blood, eat and drink their condemnation: I ate and I drank my condemnation! I saw, in the Book of Life, how the demon was desperate because at 12 years old I still believed in God, I still went to Eucharistic adoration with my mother… It was terribly despairing, in seeing this.
When I began my life of sin, the Lord made me feel that I was loosing the peace in the heart. There began a battle with by conscience, and what did my girlfriends say to me? They told me: “What?! Go to confession?! You are stupid, you are out of fashion! And with who, then? With these priests, greater sinners than us?!” None of them went to confession, I was the only one who still went. I began a war between that which my girlfriends told me and that which my mother and my conscience told me… Slowly, slowly, the balance began to tilt, and my girlfriends won. So I decided to no longer go to confession: I would no longer confess to those old men, who were scandalized just because I went to the cinema!
See the astuteness of Satan! I distanced myself from confession at 13 years old. He is an expert, you know? He puts mistaken ideas in our head! At 13 years old, Gloria Polo was already a living corpse, in spirit. But for me it was important, it was a motive of pride, to belong to that little group of girlfriends, of refined and expert girls… When we are 13 years old we think we know everything, and everything that has to do with God is out of fashion, or idiotic. What the “in thing” is, instead, is to exploit…
I have not yet told you that, when the Voice of Jesus was heard, and the demons left from there because they could not stand that Voice, one of them remained. He had authorization from the Lord to remain. This demon, enormous, shouted with horrible screams: “She is mine! She is mine! She is mine!” Only he remained, because it was that one which led, manipulated, and with his strategy guided, my weaknesses so that I might sin! It was he who pulled me away from confession! For this, the Lord permitted him to remain next to me, and this is why that horrible demon shouted that I belonged to him, and he accused me. He had permission to stay, because I died in mortal sin! From 13 years old when I no longer went to confession, up to then, many times I made bad confessions. I therefore belonged to that demon, and he could remain during my judgment! Just imagine my shame, in seeing with horror my sins so numerous, and even more with that horrible thing to accuse me and to say that I was his! It was horrible!The devil drew me away from confession, and so in this way he took from me the cure and the cleaning of soul; it was not gratuitous the sin that I was committing. On the spotlessness of my soul, the evil one put his mark, a mark of darkness… And this white soul began to fill itself with darkness. Never did I receive Holy Communion well: only for the First Communion did I make a good confession. From then on, never again: and I received my Lord Jesus Christ unworthily. When we go to confession, we must always, always, ask the Holy Spirit that he might illumine and send His holy Light on the darkness of our mind: because one thing the evil one does, is to obscure our mind, so that we think that nothing is a sin, that all is well, that there is no need to go to the priest to confess ourselves, - and even more, they are greater sinners than we are - , that confession is out of fashion. Clearly, it was more convenient for me not to go to confession.
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Polski: Orędzie Glorii Polo.
Slovenská: Svedectvo pani dr. Glorie Polo.
Українська: Глорія Поло. Вражена блискавкою.